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Strange Chairs in a Strange Land
This entry was posted on July 28, 2009.
Chairs..That's right chairs... it would be hard to believe, but that's what we talk about here. Chairs are one of the most basic concepts of man. Before we even knew what to call our ass, we were s
itting on them. We have been taking our asses for granted way to long. The chair is up there with the concepts of the club and wheel. You can't really change these concept, you can just add to them. To give you an example, here are two cavemen.
Caveman 1 - Chip... chip.. chip "MMM...Look. I made chair"
Caveman 2 - "Wut iz chair?"
Caveman 1 - "Chair. You sit on it." says proudly.
Caveman 2 - "You mean like rock."
What the caveman's chair may have looked like (above), but probably looked more like this (below)
All in all chairs can come in all shapes, sizes, and styles. You name it, its been done and if it hasn't it will be. This article is about those chairs that make you question humanity.
If I were to believe that someone thought seriously about these chairs. I would have to say that this little ball in the middle of nowhere is..
doomed... DOOmed.... DOOOMED!!
So for our first strange chair. A fusion of man and machine. Ok maybe not machine, it just sounds cooler than this.
I am sure this is not an original idea. Since people have been sitting on each other for thousands of years. Who doesn't love a bully who likes to play the game "Name Seven Candy Bars". But to strap a chair to yourself? Now you're just asking for it. On a positive note though. When our alien masters come at least we will have some use.
For our next chair I think I am going to have to be a little mean, I don't want to, but I can't help myself. What I have to say about this chair is REALLY!?
This is an actual chair. That means someone spent money on this. I don't know how much and honestly I don't want to know. But I am sure it will look lovely with your refrigerator sofa, love sink, and nesting toilet. I am all in favor of the creative process, but when you try to sell me something that I might find in a backyard.... Oh you might say "What about those fancy legs?" Nothing a few chrome mufflers and duct tape can't fix.
On a lighter note. These chairs are the awesome.
This is creativity after it hits about eight pints. But I don't know whats more disturbing. The place you sit (left picture) or that those nuns have really nice legs.
As I looked at the next set of chairs I started to question my sanity. IS what I am seeing real?
As the insanity sets in. This begins to unfold in my brain.
Customer - "Hello. I would like to purchase a leather office chair."
Customer - "Well. Actually I was thinking... Would it be possible, instead of just leather, you could use the whole cow?"
Customer Service - "Uhhh...what?"
Customer - "Use the whole cow. I would like the headrest to be... well.. you know..the head.."
Customer Service - "I...ummmm"
Customer - "And the five star base to be its legs."
Customer Service - "Bbbut cows only have four legs."
Customer - "Oh that's ok. I have a mutated cow I have been keeping around for just this occasion."
And so I stop this insanity before its to late. On one hand a three headed sheep "The devil made me do it". I have no doubt. And on the other hand a six legged bear would be kinda cool as long as it wasn't mauling me to death. Either way I would feel a little uneasy sitting in these chairs.
And for the final chairs
And we are all thinking the same thing. Nothing hotter than a half naked chair, except maybe a fully naked chair. No? Then maybe its just me.
Picture if you will. A guy and girl out on a date. Everything is going really well. He takes the girl back to his play. One of these chairs is in the corner. The girls says "What an interesting chair." The guy comes up to the girl and says "You should see my bed... its round and has leopard print... (whispering) and it rotates. Next thing you know the guy is standing there alone with his naked chair.
But to be fair the image on the right is an artist analogy for the modern day house wife and is called "The Bored Housewife Throne"